[Luke and Meadow are in the kitchen, Luke is busy pulling out things from the fridge while Meadow digs for cooking utensils]
[Luke drops the turkey on the counter]
Luke: Free range turkey?
Meadow: [sinking] is that bad?
Luke: no... just ridiculously expensive... [placing it into the sink after unwrapping it]
Meadow: I just like the idea of free range, it lived on a nice farm, I feel better about eating it.
[luke reaches inside the cavity of the turkey and pulls out the bag of extras]
Meadow: What... is...that?!! [stares]
Luke: Just extra parts of the turkey that some people cook with, like the neck [carries it to the trash and drops it in]
Meadow: you're kidding...
Luke: no? Have you never cooked a turkey before?
Meadow: [shaking his head] I don't cook, I never have, I'm always as far away from the kitchen as possible when I can be, especially on holidays. [watching Luke clean the Turkey] this is just disturbing.
Luke: what? [has his entire forearm inside the turkey]
Meadow: you're completely violating it!
Luke: would you feel better if you didn't watch me cook it? You can go do something else and I'll make dinner.
Meadow: [opening up the dishwasher to put dishes up that have been sitting in there forever] It's just weirding me out. I always thought you just put the bird on a pan and chucked it into the oven.
Luke: no, definitely not! There's a lot more to it than that. I mean, I suppose you could do that, but that would probably make out for quite a disgusting turkey. [picks the turkey up and sets it on some paper towels he had laid out]
Meadow: you're washing it like a baby...
Luke: you're just completely fascinated, aren't you?
Meadow: I wouldn't call it fascinated.
Luke: it bothers you?
Meadow: it had a bag of it's own parts in it!
Luke: [quietly] wasn't even necessarily it's own parts...
[meadow stands there stunned, going pale]
Luke: how are you not a vegetarian?
Meadow: [looking down to the turkey] I might just go vegetarian one day...
Luke: [leaning against the counter] are you going to eat it?
Meadow: ...[hesitates, sinking] I don't know if I could... I mean... it just... doesn't seem right at all! I just wanted a good healthy natural turkey! Who'd have a quick and painless cooking!
Luke: it's like it's getting pampered before in the sauna! I just cleaned out it's colon and gave it a nice warm bath!
[Meadow curls over laughing]
Luke: just think about it like that!
Meadow: OK, it does make it seem better, but... I still don't think I can eat it [frowns]
Luke: [thinks] well, I don't want to waste it. [tugging at the turkeys wings making them flap]
Meadow: I mean, if you want turkey, you can keep making it – that's fine. I don't mind watching you eat it!
Luke: you'd stare at me the entire time gawking.
Meadow: [getting freaked out by the flapping turkey] STOP PULLING ON HIS WINGS LIKE THAT!
Luke: [tugs on it's wings a few more times] gobble, gobble, gobble...
Meadow: STOP IT!
Luke: [laughing] I'm sorry... sorry, sorry. Well, fine, what do we do with it then?
Meadow: I bet Oatmeal would eat it...
Luke: ...you wouldn't watch him eat a turkey either!
Meadow: that's why we put it outside and leave him out there to eat it!
Luke: [pauses] do you have any friends around town?
Meadow: …......hahahaa, you're so funny. [rolls eyes]
Luke: seriously though! Anyone who might want a turkey! … or possibly even need one?
Meadow: No, not really.
Luke: hmmmmmmm... [getting out his phone]
Meadow: We're going to drive the Turkey all the way back to Charleston?
Luke: No, but maybe back to New York.
Meadow: Who needs a turkey that you know?
Luke: the church I occasionally attend [sets his phone down on the counter, switching it to speaker phone]
Phone: Merry Christmas from Trinity Baptist Church, this is Mary Anne, how can I help you?
Luke: Merry Christmas to you too, ummm... I have a bit of an odd story and a question for you.
Phone: ok... go ahead.
Luke: Well, I'm a member of the congregation, Luke Clark, and I'm in the process of making a Christmas dinner, and it's looking like we possibly not hungry for it anymore, so I was wondering if the Church was still running the soup kitchen today and maybe I could drop off what we made to be served?
Phone: Well, our Christmas soup kitchen has been sponsored and we'd rather not add any variation to it to avoid any problems, but we do have a list of shut in elderly that you may could help! Could I get your name again please; the name that would be in the directory.
Luke: yes ma'am, I should be listed under Lucas Clark?
Phone: mmmmmmm.... at... 715 52nd st?
Luke: Yes ma'am.
Phone: OK. I just needed to confirm you as a member of the church. Now let me see [pause] one second please!
Luke: ok, that's fine.
Meadow: d'aw, Luke! [hugs his arm] you're so amazing.
Luke: [kisses his cheek] we'll I'm sure there are people out there that would love a free range turkey [smiles]
Phone: Mr. Clark?
Phone: We've emailed you a list of a few shut ins we have. If you'd like to deliver food to them then you may. I'm sure they would appreciate it more than anything. I don't know how much you have prepared, so please just use your best judgment and you can either deliver to one shut in, or divide it up. Please just let us know as soon as possible which you do so we know which shut ins we still need to deliver too. Or if you'd rather, I could send someone out to you collect the food and deliver it.
Luke: we could...[meadow squeezes his arm tight] [quietly to meadow] what?
Meadow: [quietly] you really think it'd be a good idea for gay people to come bringing food to people in the name of a church!?
Phone: excuse me?
Luke: [nodding] umm, ma'am, it may work out best if we had some one pick it up, honestly. We're not really the best witnesses for the church.
Phone: that's fine, are you at your home?
Luke: uumm, well, no, we're about an hour out... is that going to be OK?
Phone: hmmm, that is a bit far. [pauses] I tell you what. If you can get me your location and give me a couple of minute, I'll call a few of the churches around your area and see if they can come pick it up.
Luke: We're in Sommerville, New Jersey.
Phone: Oh, OK! We have a sister church in that area, so I'll call over there and then I can have them get in contact with you. Is the phone number we have in the system a number I can reach you at?
Luke: Yes ma'am, should be.
Phone: Well, thank you Mr. Clark for this gracious gift during this Christmas season. I know someone will be very blessed by this.
Luke: it's no problem. We just decided that we're not exactly hungry for turkey this evening and that we'd rather have some cereal. [smiles looking to meadow]
Meadow: [quietly] I call the captain crunch!
Phone: [giggling] Well, I will have someone in contact with you soon. Merry Christmas, and God bless.
Luke: You too ma'am. [turns his phone off]
Meadow: [mocking] ma'am, ma'am, ma'am....
Luke: what? Is it bad to be polite?
Meadow: no, it was just funny. [smiles, squeezing luke tight] you are amazing!
Meadow: That! What you just did! People don't do that!
Luke: [shrugs] we weren't going to eat it.
Meadow: yeah! So most people just trash it, or call up random friend Bob to come get it.
Luke: and how is this any different?
Meadow: someone is going to get this turkey and it is going to mean the world to them, and probably be their only gift [pauses] that's so sad!! I want to send gifts with it now!
Luke: how about you make some sides! You got vegetables and things, you can cut those up, or uncan them, whatever you need to do. We'll make them a whole meal [smiles]
Meadow: They need dessert!!
Luke: OK, did you get something for dessert?
Meadow: uuuumm.. no [frowns]
Luke: don't worry about it then. It'll be fine.
Meadow: [frowns bigger, wandering over to the pantry] I do have cake mix, but it was to make you a cake for your birthday. [pauses, grabbing the box down] it might be better spent this way though.
Luke: aw, baby...
Meadow: [blushes] what did you say?
Meadow: what did you just call me?
Luke: [blushing] n..nothing...
Meadow: I get a pet name now? [smiles]
Luke: maybe... sorry, just slipped.
Meadow: it's ok [turns around and reaches back up for the frosting] Fee has been harassing me about it.
Luke: pet names?
Meadow: yeah, she has this theory about pet names and based on what pet name you use determines how you feel about the person.
Luke: ….kinda like your Zodiac
Meadow: [frowns] that was low.
Luke: I'm sorry, was just a joke [noticing the cake] aaaaaaw, red velvet cake!
Meadow: [smiles] I thought it was your favorite! if you want to keep it we can. I just thought it'd be nice.
Luke: no, definitely not [smiles] or.. just make cup cakes! And we'll divide them. …. if you have a pan that can do that.
Meadow: I have a muffin pan...
Luke: that's a cup cake pan.
Meadow: [sinking] I didn't know if there was a difference.
Luke: mmmmm... you probably don't have papers for cupcakes.
Meadow: … no, probably not.
Luke: do you have cake pans or anything?
Meadow: umm.. [walking over and opening a cabinet over flowing with random cooking pans]
Luke: …. oh boy...
Meadow: [embarrassed] yeah... this isn't the most organized of cabinets... [reaches in to pull out a pan to try and look through them. The whole mound shifts and makes a horrible racket]
Luke: need help?
Meadow: [carefully digging] no.. don't think so.. [pulls out a 9X9 pan] will this work?
Luke: do you have another one like that?
Meadow: maybe? [keeps digging] ummm [pulls out a pound cake pan] would this be ok?
Luke: that should work just fine. A little odd, but it can work.
Meadow: I can keep looking...
Luke: I think you'll hurt yourself if you keep looking [leans back to look in at the mess of pans again]
Meadow: [shoving the cabinet doors closed and getting up] ok, so lets see how we make this [leans over the counter and reads the box]
Luke: [sliding the turkey in the oven] OK, so that is going to take forever and a day to cook, so I can help you with that if you want.
Meadow: I'm not going to let you make your own birthday cake!
Luke: [stepping back] ok, then I'll just make sides or something [smiles]
Meadow: This looks pretty easy, it's all instant out of the box aside from eggs and oil. So I imagine I just mix it up and pop it in the oven. [pauses] nothings going to fit in the oven with the turkey...
Luke: eeeeeeeeeh...we can maybe just get the 9X9 in there, but probably not the pound cake pan.
Meadow: [frowns] oh... ummm... can you make this in the microwave? [studies the box]
Luke: [laughing] If we have time to make it when the turkey is done, then we'll make it, otherwise we'll just not worry about it [smiles]
Meadow: But... [frowning bigger]
Luke: [pulling Meadow close and kissing him gently] don't worry. I'm sure just turkey and green beans will be plenty. If you really want though, we can run to the store and just grab a premade pie or something.
Meadow: would that be ok?
Luke: I mean, we probably won't be able to find an organic one.
Meadow: but the church won't mind?
Luke: why would they mind?
Meadow: Because we didn't make it.
Luke: ...no... why would you think they would mind?
Meadow: [sinking] I don't know.
Luke: well, you can put the cake up and we'll worry about that later [smiles] come on, we have vegetables to cook!